Lets get real and own it!
I hadn’t even started to write this post and I was already editing and re-editing myself. Why? Because I want you to LOVE this post. I want you to like me and like Mama and Bean! This is crazy, and so perfect at the same time. Because even as I want to tell you about my recent realizations around stepping in to owning ourselves fully and being authentic, I’m still grappling with it right now. Trying to manage how you feel about me vs. just showing up and letting myself be seen. (which just led me to another realization, but more on that later)
The piece that I don’t understand is what made us decide that in order to be loved, we can’t be real. That we need to pretend to be something to fit some imaginary expectation.
The worst part is that the people whose perceptions of ourselves we are trying to “manage” can actually read right thought it. In fact we all can. Just think about a time when you met someone and within 5 minutes you could tell there was something “off”, something inauthentic about them. And on the flip side, think of a time where you met someone and you felt attracted to them, almost instinctively. You would trust them with your baby (if you have one), greatness and flaws included, the whole package. They just seemed real.
We play pretend games in different areas of our lives. At work, in the dating world, with our friends. I can only say that this is a game we are bound to lose.
Its exhausting. This game is our soul’s cover up to distract from our own vulnerability. From the fact that we may not know what we are doing, or have allowed ourselves to really know who we are.
We are so scared of what others may think we become experts in the craft in managing perceptions. Yet deep inside we know there is so much more to us.
And truthfully, we will never be able to manage how people feel about us, authentic or not authentic, so why keep at it?
The realization that I wanted to tell you about is actually an obvious one by now. Which is that:
by being real and owning all aspects of who we are and what we stand for, we become free.
Free of expectations. We are able to live unfettered, which is a recurring theme that I have been hearing in my coaching practice. Well, ladies (and gents) this is it. This is the first step to freedom and happiness.
Oh! and before I wrap it up, I want to mention something that I think is important:
We all have our insecurities, and we’ll likely always have them. But that is OK, because we don’t need to be super confident to be authentic. In fact, owning all the pieces of ourselves is what makes us real. Our non-perfectness is what makes us unique and relatable.
Our greatness is in the whole package of who we are. And when we are real so many windows open. We are more connected, creative, happy.
Let’s let ourselves be seen!
My first step into this venture of being real and owning it started with this blog and is now trickling into other aspects of my life. I can honestly say that have a renewed sense of self. I feel excited and optimistic.
One last thing before we go, the second realization I had was that we are all in process. And that is OK. Change takes time and practice. Try it out.
- What do you think?
- Where are you not showing up authentically?
- What has you put on the show?
- What have you noticed when you show up fully, in your element?